Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Winter Meetings

Is it sad that one of my five or six favorite times of the year is the MLB winter meetings?

I say no. You say yes. We both say, huh, no wonder this guy's not getting laid. Regardless, my list of favorite times of the year (in no particular order) looks something like this:

Twins home opener
4th of July
First days of fall
MLB postseason
First warm days of spring
First days of the year when it seems warm because it is 30 below all winter, but isn’t actually warm, but girls decide to bust out the skirts and tank tops anyway. (Also known as the end of cleavage hibernation. If the groundhog sees his shadow, we have 1 less month of cleavage. That’s how it goes, right? I always get these things messed up…)
Winter Meetings

I love the winter meetings because they are the apex of the hot stove league. There are rumors leading up to the winter meetings, and there are rumors after the winter meetings, but for those four beautiful days in December, there are more rumors than coffee mugs Grady Sizemore has stuck his penis in (of which I can only assume there are a lot).

Personally, I find the offseason almost as entertaining as the season itself – unless, of course, the Twins are trying to trade their best pitcher. Then the offseason is just long, painful, and destined to end in heartache. I spent hours refreshing my computer during the Santana saga of 2007 winter meetings. Literally hours.

There was nothing entertaining about that. Nothing.

This year, however, will be much more relaxed, because while the current Mauer contract situation is mildly disconcerting, it is not nearly as stressful as the Santana saga of 2007.

Of course, for Twins fans, the winter meetings rarely amount to anything – even the Santana saga of 2007 lasted well into January –- so we are left twiddling our thumbs. Regardless, we scrounge for rumors, and gorge on the few scraps tossed our way.

Would it be nice if the Twins actually made a few moves? Of course. But there is also a sense of letdown when a move actually happens -- kind of like opening that Christmas present you wanted more than anything. Yeah, it is nice, but the anticipation was still more exciting. The end result is one of those, “now what?” letdowns.

(For me, this was the Destro –- the G.I. Joe character who wore a silver mask all the time –- action figure I wanted more than anything for Christmas when I was sixish. The big draw was that his face mask was removable, and I was beyond pumped to see what his face actually looked like. I’m talking on the mound with an 0-2 count and three run lead in game 7 of the World Series level pumped here. Needless to say, the letdown was gigantic. All that was behind the mask was a normal looking face. Although, in hindsight, I’m not really sure exactly what I expected.)

So, whether or not rumored moves get made, I will enjoy every second of the winter meetings, because few times of the year are more exciting than the four warmest days of the MLB hot stove.

And, if we’re lucky, maybe, unlike the Santana Saga of 2007, Mauer Mania of 2009 will give us an early and pleasant end.

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