Friday, December 11, 2009

Random Thoughts...

...The Random Thoughts are back after an obnoxiously (and arguably unnecessarily) long hiatus. Luckily, the only story anyone has been talking about lately is Tiger Woods and his ever-expanding list of whores, so I suppose I haven't missed much in terms of random thinking. Having said that, I am going to spare you all from any more Tiger musings here at Undomed. At least until a sex tape surfaces.

...Is there any other major media market in the country that would allow Sid Hartman, Patrick Reusse, and Dark Star to be some of the most "influential" voices in the local sports scene? I understand that Sid is an "institution" of sorts; and, admittedly, his crazy old man ranting can be somewhat entertaining, but coupling him with a blowhard like Reusse is ridiculous. Most of us have seen Reusse's quote about Joe Christensen and OPS in his "Turkey of the Year" column. Reusse simply epitomizes everything that is wrong with sports writing. We get it, you're old, you're angry, and you are completely out of touch with the general public perspective. Please, stop blathering.

Throw in Dark Star who I want to punch in the head every time he speaks, and you have the trifecta-de-trash. Just awful sports journalism all around. How does nobody at the Star Tribune and WCCO understand this?

...You know what is an underrated invention? The water sprayer thingy for dishes on kitchen sinks. Very handy. I feel spoiled going from a shitty college apartment that barely had a sink, to an apartment with both a sprayer thingy and a dishwasher. And, if you are wondering, yes, "sprayer thingy" is a technical term.

...In a battle between PETA and the Catholic church everyone's a loser.

...Does it bother anyone else when people ask someone if the person they are dating/used to date is cute? What answer can you reasonably expect other than, "yes?" Obviously if the person dated/dates someone they are at least reasonably attracted to said person. Do you really expect someone to say, "No, I was just really desperate"? As enjoyable as that response would be, I find it highly unlikely.

...Why on earth would the most entertaining member of the "Jew crew" go and do something like this?

...I enjoy the first snowfall of the year, if, for no other reason than to watch Minnesota drivers try and readjust to winter driving. Highly entertaining.

...Of course, the six months of snow after the first snowfall are far, far less entertaining.


...Ever see those women who dress like they are young and hip, but look like they are about 40? I always have an internal debate about whether they are actually 40 and going through a mid-life crisis, or 22 and so beaten down by life they look like a disheveled 40 year old. If you are wonder, the latter is called "Lindsay Lohan Syndrome." And, yes, I know that joke is too easy, but it never gets old.

...For the record, I have reached my Lindsay Lohan quota for the day (and likely far exceeded it).

...If you are behind on the times like me because you weren't old enough to fully appreciate television shows when they were actually on TV, I highly recommend The Wire. I am most of the way through season one, and it is excellent. Sopranos-esque, if you will.

...At the same time, if you still watch Entourage, stop. Just stop now. The last three seasons have been unwatchable. And, for anyone thinking they should pick up the Entourage DVD's because they have heard good things, get the first three seasons and stop there. Once the Aquaman story-arc plays out, the show becomes terrible. I still don't understand why I watched last season, but I am definitely not coming back next season.

...For the love of god, MTV, do not give into pressure and take Jersey Shore off the air. One slutty girl getting punched in the face is grounds cancelling one of the best television shows ever off the air? That is ludicrous! Ludicrous I say!

...For the last five years or so I have been buzzing my. Recently, however, I decided to let it grow out for awhile. I am thoroughly enjoying this process. Everyday is a new hair adventure...yeah I don't have a whole lot going on right now...

...Alright, but if Hannah Montana takes a break, that's where I draw the line.

...I feel like malls should hire a common sense expert before designing their parking lots. I was at a mall today (Rosedale Center for those of you familiar with the area) and spent like ten minutes driving around the parking lot because the entire thing is constructed as a giant one-way road with intermittently sprinkled turnoffs. How is this the most efficient method for building a parking lot? It is a huge pain in the ass. If I am driving around a parking lot and want to go the opposite direction, I should be able to do so without having to drive around the entire fucking building. Is that too much to ask? Ugh.

...If I had to make a list of annoying people (actually "had" would be a bit of a misnomer here, I would thoroughly enjoy creating this list), "weight room guy" would be somewhere in the top ten.

Now, there are two forms of "weight room guy," and both are equally obnoxious.

First, you have the guy who almost definitely does steroids and struts around the gym with that, "I-don't-have-a-life-outside-the-gym-but-its-ok-because-I-can kick-your-ass" look. Always a class act, by the way, this guy is.

Second, you have the "strut-around-the-gym-wearing-too-little-clothing-even-though-I-am-actually-super-skinny-or-fat" guy. This guy is great because he doesn't actually do any workouts, he just stands around pretending to exercise. This is fine in a large gym, I suppose, if it helps your self esteem, but when you live in an apartment with a moderately sized workout room, and there is a gaggle of three pretend work outers, it becomes infinitely more annoying.

...What a weird NFL season, eh? After the Steelers loss to the Browns, I have come to the conclusion that everybody just sucks. There are no good teams anymore, just a few teams with a couple of good players.

...I think it is fairly obvious, based on all the evidence, that Lane Kiffin is a dirtball. Having said that, I am going to defend his Volunteers in the whole "recruiting hostesses" ordeal. I say, if you can find a few hot coeds that didn't make the cheerleader squad but still want to help out the team, go ahead and sign them up as hostesses. As long as their job description is "recruiter," you can't control what else they do to entice players to become Volunteers. Besides, as Tennessee recruit Marcus Lattimore said, "you don't want to go to a college where they ain't pretty." Truer words have never been spoken. Absolutely nobody wants to go to a college where "they ain't pretty." This, coming from a guy who went to the University of Minnesota Duluth...

...I am going to end this week with some shameless self-promotion. If you are on Twitter, and want to enjoy my semi-coherent 140 character ramblings on a daily basis, follow me here. Also, if you are new around these parts, check out the archive in the side bar for some of my older posts. You may or may not find them interesting or entertaining. I guarantee nothing.

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